Daniel Selwood
Mr Common Cold arrived without warning, on a cold and blustery Saturday morning.
He was as tall as the door, and dressed in white, his yellow eyes gleaming like lanterns on a cold night.
He waited patiently, I didn’t hear a peep, until I was well into the land of sleep.
Whilst I was sleeping, he made my throat scratch, by climbing down my throat like a serving hatch.
Mr Common Cold was here to stay: ‘Oh, rejoice!’ he says, ‘what a happy day!’
He sits comfortably, Mr Common Cold, sitting cross-legged like scholars of old.
I picture him, blue-skin, big grin, getting ready to make a horrible din.
He blocks up my nose with the smoke from his pipe, making me grovel, making me gripe.
I solider on, drinking hot tea, yet I feel so miserable, as miserable as can be.
Mr Common Cold was settling in, ‘oh’ he said, ‘what a wonderful din!’
Mr Common Cold sat on his chair, laughing at me wailing in despair.
As soon as I drink, my nose starts running like a melted ice rink.
I wonder around with a dopey face, the exact opposite of style and grace.
I go outside in the wonderful sunlight: ‘oh, ’ I said, ‘I’ll sleep well tonight!’
Mr Common Cold is beginning to grow tired of his stay, he’s done everything and it’s just the third day.
Overnight, Mr Common Cold has been visited by hot water and lemon, Mr Common Cold feels like a right melon.
I fart when I have the Cold of Doom, they’re smelly and deadly and clear the room.
For lunch, I have hot soup, ad my body slowly starts to regroup.
At seven o’clock I get ready for the night, feeling I have flown a long-haul flight.
Mr Common Cold feels that this is no good, so he puts on his white coat and puts up the hood.
Mr Common Cold packs his case, there’s no way in hell he’s winning this race.
I talk to friends about the cold, and then I sneeze, the snot is gold.
I cough, and I look at my face, like the bottom of a trough.
Mr Common Cold has found a new target, someone a bit more up market.
I’m free of my cold, hip-hip hooray, carpe diem, seize the day.
Mr Common Cold thinks this is treason, he’ll be back, he’s coming next season.
He was as tall as the door, and dressed in white, his yellow eyes gleaming like lanterns on a cold night.
He waited patiently, I didn’t hear a peep, until I was well into the land of sleep.
Whilst I was sleeping, he made my throat scratch, by climbing down my throat like a serving hatch.
Mr Common Cold was here to stay: ‘Oh, rejoice!’ he says, ‘what a happy day!’
He sits comfortably, Mr Common Cold, sitting cross-legged like scholars of old.
I picture him, blue-skin, big grin, getting ready to make a horrible din.
He blocks up my nose with the smoke from his pipe, making me grovel, making me gripe.
I solider on, drinking hot tea, yet I feel so miserable, as miserable as can be.
Mr Common Cold was settling in, ‘oh’ he said, ‘what a wonderful din!’
Mr Common Cold sat on his chair, laughing at me wailing in despair.
As soon as I drink, my nose starts running like a melted ice rink.
I wonder around with a dopey face, the exact opposite of style and grace.
I go outside in the wonderful sunlight: ‘oh, ’ I said, ‘I’ll sleep well tonight!’
Mr Common Cold is beginning to grow tired of his stay, he’s done everything and it’s just the third day.
Overnight, Mr Common Cold has been visited by hot water and lemon, Mr Common Cold feels like a right melon.
I fart when I have the Cold of Doom, they’re smelly and deadly and clear the room.
For lunch, I have hot soup, ad my body slowly starts to regroup.
At seven o’clock I get ready for the night, feeling I have flown a long-haul flight.
Mr Common Cold feels that this is no good, so he puts on his white coat and puts up the hood.
Mr Common Cold packs his case, there’s no way in hell he’s winning this race.
I talk to friends about the cold, and then I sneeze, the snot is gold.
I cough, and I look at my face, like the bottom of a trough.
Mr Common Cold has found a new target, someone a bit more up market.
I’m free of my cold, hip-hip hooray, carpe diem, seize the day.
Mr Common Cold thinks this is treason, he’ll be back, he’s coming next season.
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